Everybody thinks Rudolph was mercilessly bullied by the opposite reindeer due to his large fats pink nostril, that’s till Santa got here alongside and let him information the sleigh on Christmas.
Then all the reindeer beloved him. He made historical past. The top.
However that’s not what actually occurred.
Seems that Rudolph was a thin-skinned snowflake who by no means give up whining and ran crying to Santa on the drop of a hat. Each little joke the elves made offended him. And he was nowhere to be discovered when there was work to do. That’s why he was by no means picked to steer the sleigh. That’s additionally why his nostril was so large and pink — from all of the sniveling.
Someday Rudolph was watching MSNBC and got here up with an crafty thought. He ran round Santa’s village with a noose round his neck claiming the opposite reindeer did this to him as a result of they had been all redschnozophobic racists.
Then the whiny brat filed a discrimination lawsuit towards Santa in village court docket, employed Gloria Allred as his lawyer and held a press convention with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton who loudly accused Santa and all of the reindeer of systemic racism.
At that time Santa caved to the activists, reprimanded the opposite reindeer and introduced that Rudolph would information the sleigh on Christmas. Afraid of being accused of bigotry and shedding their candy gigs, the elves signaled their approval and all the different reindeer lastly kowtowed to the woke mob.
On a tragic notice, Rudolph’s nostril turned out to be so vibrant that it set off Russia’s missile protection system so a number of children didn’t get their toys that Christmas however that’s one other story for an additional day.
Anyhow, now you recognize the actual story of Rudolph the Pink-Nosed Reindeer.
Merry belated Christmas and Glad New Yr; see y’all in 2023!