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Hiding (v.) – To deliberately place out of sight.
As a younger woman, I used to play Conceal-and-Search with the neighborhood children. We’d all the time make the bottom, or the security zone as we known as it, the identical tree. You would contact wherever on the tree and had been protected from being tagged “it.”
Because the youngest of a dozen contributors, and the slowest, I’d cover in the identical place each time we performed – a drainage pipe. It was a small opening that was adjoining to a storm ditch. It labored. Nobody ever tagged me there. I’d cover till the one that was the seeker left the tree to search out everybody. Then, I’d run to security. I used to be all the time accused of dishonest, however I knew I used to be following the foundations.
One evening whereas we had been enjoying, an even bigger child watched me and located my hiding place. He picked me up and shoved me into the ditch, however, as a result of he was a lot greater than me, he couldn’t match into the pipe so he spit on me as a substitute. Once I ran to inform my brother, he received livid with me for interrupting the sport and being a brat.
I ran residence. Then all hell broke unfastened.
I didn’t return residence to folks who had been able to embrace me and ask me what was incorrect. I by no means had that. As an alternative, I returned to a house the place I used to be anticipated to maintain hiding – to remain quiet and out of the way in which – in order that nothing was disturbed or thrown off of the routine. (The routine was so typically that of chaos and emotional turmoil, met with bodily outbursts and unhealed wounds left to fester within the unending cycle of abuse.)
A majority of these conditions that occur to us once we are small and powerless are what hold us hiding in plain sight as adults.
We don’t wish to be judged. As a matter of truth, it’s our primary worry. One thing as harmless as children enjoying can flip into reminiscences of worry, hopelessness, and abandonment. We don’t wish to return to it, so we construct our security zone.
Right here’s the factor, although. Nothing occurs within the security zone. Whereas others are taking dangers and enjoying the sport of life, no dangers could be taken by enjoying it protected.
So I would like you to ask your self, “What if?” What in case you took that threat you’ve got been considering? What are you afraid of? What’s the worst that may occur?
In case your reply is that you just’ll lose, okay, however what are you gaining now?
Are you content? Joyful? Fulfilled? Excited to be alive?
Whereas I do have that one painful reminiscence of some overbearing child needing to win so badly that he harm me and, unbeknownst to him, despatched me into extra chaos at residence, the good reminiscences of enjoying far outweigh that one dangerous evening. We often had a blast enjoying Conceal-and-Search, amassing fireflies, using horses bareback below the celebs, and exploring.
What reminiscences are you creating that can repel remorse later?
Play! Discover! Take an opportunity! Your life deserves it!
All my love and help,
Allyson
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