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We had been hit with some laborious information immediately as the one tolerable Kelce is retiring from the one factor that made him infamous, soccer.
Jason Kelce has apparently retired, as reported by Adam Schefter. Facet observe: it’s fairly tousled how Schefty will report on somebody’s retirement versus letting them announce it on their very own phrases. Appears like Tom Brady is aware of what I’m speaking about. Hey Schefty, perhaps depart some scoops for the individuals doing the scooping.
Now, it’s no state secret that we are no fans of Donna Kelce and whereas we have now many Chiefs followers with Korked Bats, Travis is principally only a personified Eastbay journal shoved down our throats due to the A-lister he’s daring. Travis appears to be like like he is aware of the identify of a number of Asher Roth songs. He’s the precise picture we get in our head after we consider the time period Sneakerhead. He’s the AI era from the phrases Chevy Camero, rap music, and HBO’s Entourage.
However relating to Jason, there was no ill-will there. Apart from the very fact he performed for the Eagles, he was truly considerably likeable. Which is an extremely laborious feat to drag off whereas enjoying for the Eagles. Not since Tony Danza was garbage picking and field goal kicking has there been a likable Eagle.
And now he’s strolling away from the sport for good. Why, Jason? Why? Couldn’t you let child bro stroll away first? You’re actually going to depart us right here along with your strolling billboard of a mother, Donna, and your brother, who’s simply the phrase “Bruh” personified? That’s imply, dude. Hardly one thing a Murmur would do.
Anyway, Jason, for a man who has had his tush pushed for so long as you’ve, you deserve a contented retirement. I by no means watched Kelce on Amazon, however I can think about this retirement is effectively overdue as a lot of your joints most likely now not work correctly, however we nonetheless want you the very best. Please inform your brother to cease wanting like he reeks of Abercrombie FIERCE cologne and inform your mom to stop living as a post-race NASCAR driver rattling off her list of sponsors.
Oh, and preserve doing beers.
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