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Hey Jason, thoughts if I pull you apart actual fast? Bragging about steamrolling by means of $8 of bathroom paper a day isn’t precisely the flex that I imagine you suppose it’s. Even within the top of the pandemic’s ‘rest room paper is our new cryptocurrency’ period, bragging about your TP utilization simply isn’t all you apparently think about. Nevertheless, I’m prepared to wager it’s his sentence earlier than the TP brag that provides us all of the intel we want as to why this man is rummaging by means of rest room paper like a cat who snuck into the toilet. A Massive Mac and fries. The one query is what number of?
Jason Whitlock was attempting to defend paying the price of Twitter Blue (shocker), as a result of after the Nice Blue Checkmark Purge of 2023, J-Dub’s account was nonetheless proudly verified and, like LeBron, he was referred to as out for it. Nevertheless, that social media advantage badge in a short time changed into a skidmark. Facet observe: if you wish to pay for Twitter Blue, by all means, go for it. Hell, Korked Bats’ major account has had Twitter Blue since Jack Dorsey was nonetheless captaining the ship, solely as a result of it permits us to put up longer movies to the platform – which, for what we do, is essential. However we’re not going to hype or rip the price of Twitter Blue (I imply, it was higher when it was $2.99 a month, however whatevs), and we’re actually not going to disclose the variety of occasions we wipe our ass in a day.
To not get too deep into the NextGen Stats powered by AW-ass, however this implies Whitlock goes by means of SIX (6!) mega-rolls, which equates to 24 common rolls EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Jason, in your protection of the blue checkmark receipt, you don’t precisely must go touting that you just spend that very same price in rest room paper PER DAY. I’m no Jason Whitlock fan, by any means, however I’ve to confess, I’m beginning to get fearful about him. There needs to be one thing occurring gastrically for the massive man. You want to see somebody about that, boss? You feeling okay? Is it a hemmoroid drawback? That final query is rhetorical, after all. I don’t actually wish to find out about any irritation in Jason Whitlock’s anus.
BONUS CONTENT! Right here’s a fast energy rating of bathroom paper manufacturers:
5. Scott – I name this the highschool rest room paper, as a result of it’s low cost, it has all of the sensitivity of sandpaper, and it’s stocked in what looks as if each highschool in America. The one motive this model was ranked fifth is as a result of I can’t consider a sixth rest room paper model.
4. Quilted Northern – *Shaq voice* I’ll admit, I’m probably not accustomed to your recreation.
3. Angel Delicate – reasonably priced and cozy sufficient.
2. Cottonelle – Puppies in your commercials actually assist. Plus, you possibly can’t be extra coarse than the others.
1. Charmin – perhaps as a result of it’s the softest TP on the market or perhaps it’s the bear saranating me about his heiny being clear
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